I have always felt that I have belonged in the mediocre of all aspects of my life. I have not been blessed with a specific talent that is all wonderful and awe inspiring. I have nothing that is great. I have many talents that I flirt with, like writing and drawing, but nothing that I excel in. There were certain points in my life that I embraced the average ness of my personality and skills. I was happy to not fit in with those who excel and those who fail. But I wonder if I would have become a better person if there were those things that I did wonderfully fail. With those tasks or skills that I failed at I could try to improve. It is hard to find the determination to exceed at mediocrity than it is to exceed a failing mark. When will I find the thing that I can excel and be more than just the homely little girl with her nose in a book? When will I be able to reach past how others view myself and reach further to how I view myself to believe that I can be great at something? Will I ever find that something that I am great at?

Don't you just love rainy days and how they allow you so to be so much more introspective? I am being very maudlin today and I cannot shake the blues. Such heavy thoughts for days when I am off of work.

Remodel has made it past the half-way mark and now we are starting the count down to inventory. Grand Opening will be one week before inventory. This first year as an assistant manager is either going to make me a strong assistant or get me fired before the end of the year...

But hopefully I will be able to find inspiration for something. I am ready to do something great, to be great. Wish me luck!